My name is Gerard Way. I am thirty one years old. I have a problem. I am totally and irrevocably in love with someone who is not my wife. Not only someone who is not my wife, but someone who is not quite supposed to be my type. This someone smiles at me every day, laughs with my friends and makes the world seem better and brighter somehow. This someone’s name is Frank Iero. I am twenty six years old. I have a problem. I am totally and irrevocably in love with someone who is not my wife. Not only someone who is not my wife, but someone who is not quite supposed to be my type. This someone laughs at my jokes, always backs me up and makes me feel as though I’m needed. This someone’s name is…
“Gerard! Do we have to?”
I sighed as the horrified faces of my bandmates stared back at me, and noticed Frank grinning at me. I smiled back at him, feeling instantly guilty for my emotions. I remembered the rest of the band were there and forced myself to look away.
“It’s already booked and paid for,” I explained. “We have no choice…”
I saw Frank laughing at Mikey, who had the most amazing expression on his face. It was a mixture of horror and disgust. I looked at Gerard laughing too, and quickly glanced away, rebuking myself for my thoughts.
“I think it could be fun! It’s just camping…” I said to Mikey, deliberately not looking at Gerard. Mikey glared back at me, obviously not happy.
“I’ll get bugs in the fro!” Ray wailed. I rolled my eyes at him, resigned to the fact that nobody wanted to go. Except Frank. But I wasn’t supposed to be thinking about Frank.
“Why don’t you and Frank go?” Bob said. “You’re the only ones who want to…”
I tried to hold back my surprise at this suggestion and found myself staring into Frank’s eyes, shocked. We broke eye contact and I laughed awkwardly.
“It’s supposed to be a team building thing, we can’t do that if not all the team are there…” I said, slightly panicked. Bob grinned mischievously.
“Just say we went! Really, it’ll be a lot easier!”
“Yeah, you two go!” Ray joined in.
“Best idea I’ve heard all day,” Mikey added.
And so I found myself in the woods with the possible love of my life. We were sitting outside our tent attempting to cook. It wasn’t going very well as I couldn’t do a single thing coherently. My hands were shaking, my voice was cracking and I just felt so small. Literally and metaphorically. Here I was, sitting next to the man that I had loved for years and I couldn’t say a word. It was pathetic. All that came out of my mouth was
“That’s disgusting!”
I grinned at Frank, glad for something to finally break the silence.
“Yeah, it is a bit…”
“God, what did you do to it?”
He dumped the contents of his bowl on the ground. I tried it, and immediately made an expression that I’m sure was identical to mine. He scraped out the burnt, charcoal remains of what once might have been food. We both started laughing. I felt the tension that had been there earlier melt away slightly. It was great to finally be able to relax with him. I’m sure he’d noticed the difference in my behaviour – how could he have not? I was acting like an idiot. But after a while I managed to calm down and just appreciate being with him. For one night. All by ourselves. We couldn’t ever have done this at home – we’d have one annoying musician after another interrupting. It got very irritating at times. But the few short minutes I spent alone with Gerard were perfect. If only he felt the same way. If only. Why would he possibly have wanted what I wanted? It was ridiculous.
After a few minutes I noticed it was dark, the trees casting shadows on the ground, both foreboding and beautiful. I loved the night time. At night I could pretend I was a different person. Night allowed me to hide and kid myself that I’m not afraid. I’m not scared. I could do anything. Anything could happen. It was dark, and I was with Frank Iero, and this wasn’t supposed to be happening, but it was.
“Gerard… do you want to sleep outside the tent?”
I stared in shock at Frank, glad he couldn’t see me shaking in the shadows. I crossed my fingers, praying he wouldn’t think I was weird, praying I wouldn’t make an idiot out of myself, praying that he would just agree and keep me company. And hoping beyond all hope that he would love me back. But I was being stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I had to stop thinking that he could have any feelings for me. The stars were giving me ideas, drawing me in with their subtle glint.
“Yeah… sure…”
I decided to give up and just enjoy being alone with him. I heard some leaves rustling and saw Frank’s silhouette against the tree. If I was uncomfortable, I couldn’t relax, and if I couldn’t relax, then I couldn’t make an ass out of myself. I was very aware indeed of Gerard lying down next to me, gazing up at the stars. I felt my heart beating faster and I struggled to keep my breathing under control. We were close. Yet not close enough, and we never would be, because close enough for me would be far, far too close for comfort. Gerard obviously had no idea of the effect his presence was having on me. He sat up and leant against the tree with him. I was being selfish, and probably freaking him out so much! How could he not feel the emotions pouring out of me? I felt myself drawing closer to him, leaning in a little. I quickly gave up and made the biggest and possibly stupidest decision of my life. It was now or never.
We collided.
Kissed.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
I couldn’t believe this was happening.
Why wasn’t he pulling away?
Why wasn’t he pulling away?
Sparks flew down my spine at the effortless contact and years of unrequited love crashed to the ground. We broke apart.
“Gerard? I think I love you.”
“I know I love you,” he replied.
And my world was complete.
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Comments
YAY FIRST COMMENT!!!!!
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I'm not a stalker, I just follow you around all day.
...by the way, you're out of milk...
of COURSE i had to put that in a conversation somewhere...
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I'm not a stalker, I just follow you around all day.
...by the way, you're out of milk...
xXxXxXxXxXxXxXx
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life is modnar...
nd Sanaa is WRONG =]
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MCR SHAVED MY WIFE.
*balloon*
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A love that's so demanding, I can't speak.
I'm warning you, don't follow me. I won't miss you, can't you see?
~Jess
ewe
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DO YOU LIKE PIE? : D
In separate transport stay together for their art, a new album written continents apart, flash back ten years back to the start, back to the start, back to the start.
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PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!
...tomorrow.
BOB BRYAR = LOVE + THE SEX.
ALSO, MINE.
--
PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!
...tomorrow.
BOB BRYAR = LOVE + THE SEX.
ALSO, MINE.
--
PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!
...tomorrow.
BOB BRYAR = LOVE + THE SEX.
ALSO, MINE.
--
PROCRASTINATORS UNITE!
...tomorrow.
BOB BRYAR = LOVE + THE SEX.
ALSO, MINE.
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